the Piper Paradigm.

Unpopular opinion: The house you live in is not an investment… It’s a lifestyle choice. I also think that renting may often be a smarter financial move in many cases.

Queue the angry pitchfork-carrying mob! Saying that renting can be smarter than buying is like walking into a room full of Swifties and declaring, “Actually, I think Kanye had a point!” (Yup, I went there.)

Alright, here we go – I invest in real estate, yet I think your home is probably a terrible investment decision. If you think that sounds contradictory, let me explain.

Let’s say you own the house you live in (if you don’t, just pretend with me for a moment). What made you decide to buy that particular house? Perhaps you picked the house you live in because it’s on the top of a hill in a neighborhood that makes you feel affluent. You picked the house because of the “special historical features” you love telling your friends about when they come over. You picked it because of the nice little view out the bedroom window on a clear day. You picked it because you have kids, and oh my gosh the kids just need several thousand square feet to run around in! Maybe this house has space for a great garden or has mature rose bushes or that traditional Tudor style you just looove.

That’s not an investment. “Refined European craftsmanship” is not criteria for selecting an investment. It’s a lifestyle decision. I’m not saying it’s a good or bad reason for picking a home, it just simply is not an investment decision. Don’t get me wrong—I love houses. I love architecture, I love home design, I love pronouncing fun-to-say home finish details (like Schluter – is Schluter not the most fun word ever?). In fact, my favorite thing to do when traveling is simply to walk around neighborhoods looking at houses. Yet, most people will tell you that the house they live in is their most significant “investment” (or perhaps their only investment).

I can hear you out there – But this thing is going to be worth so much more in 20 years! Great. At that time you can sell it and downsize to a smaller, less expensive place. Maybe you have actually given this some thought and that is your plan. But, from an investment perspective, you could have just bought a smaller, less expensive place to begin with and put your extra cash into other actual investments (stocks, rental properties, whatever) along the way. The house you live in is not an investment until (or unless) you do something else with it – something other than, or in addition to, living in it.

By now, someone’s probably muttering, ‘Well, this house is already worth more now than when I bought it so she’s wrong.’ Let’s unpack that. If you want to buy a house, go buy a house. I’m not telling you not to. I’m just telling you it is not an investment decision. You have to live somewhere. That house that is worth more than when you bought it is not putting anything in your pocket unless you do something with the equity. And I wonder how much you’ve paid to “own” it along the way.

If the property you were buying to live in were really an investment, you would approach buying it like buying an investment property, plain and simple. You might buy the ugliest house in the best neighborhood (historic charm be damned). You’d be eyeing fixer-uppers in prime areas, where the best feature is that it wasn’t a prior meth lab. You would care less about the breakfast nook or walk-in closet and more about zoning laws and acronyms like “ROI.” Did you run the numbers on property taxes vs. rent? Or were you just sold on the idea of hosting a future barbecue on the back patio? Again, if you’re dreaming of hardwood floors and granite countertops, go ahead and buy that house. Just be honest that you are buying for comfort, not capital. Let’s keep it real.

Sure, your home will likely appreciate. But how obligated will you be to that thing for multiple decades of your life? Is the property taking care of you or are you taking care of the property? My guess is it’s usually the latter.

Owning a home is often about more than just having a place to live—it’s a status symbol. It’s a way of saying, “Look at how successful I am!” (I have yet to find any study that accurately correlates home square footage to net worth). And here’s the thing: if you’re buying a house to impress others or fit into some societal expectation of what “success” looks like, you might be playing someone else’s game. And that’s a dangerous way to spend your money.

Instead, think about the game you want to be playing. Is it building financial freedom? Traveling more? Retiring early? Homeownership might not be the most effective way to get there. A house can lock up your cash and limit your options, especially if you’re stretching yourself thin to afford the home that checks all the “status” boxes.

Optimize for your goals, not someone else’s idea of success. A smaller, smarter, and more affordable living situation might not look as flashy on Instagram, but it can be a major win for your financial and personal freedom.

Now, here’s where I’ll sound like a walking contradiction: I confess, I owned a brand-spanking new home. Yep, I did the thing. I built a Pinterest dream: waterfall quartz kitchen peninsula, a cast concrete pendant light, cedar shake shingles over the entry, and even a double staircase for the front porch. It was indulgent, fun—and totally impractical for future renters.

It was at the upper end of what we could afford at the time – following the common advice to spend no more than 30% of your pre-tax income on housing. But even that ‘safe’ guideline left us feeling a bit stretched. In a lot of ways, it felt like the house owned us – not the other way around. 

I also had this weird guilt when we would travel, even just on weekends – like I shouldn’t be paying to go stay somewhere when I had this great house that I was also paying for. That’s when I realized the lifestyle decisions we were making for our housing were not really aligned with the lifestyle we actually wanted.

And then we moved to the other side of the state. And the “dream beach house” quickly became… not that. This house was in a tidy HOA community with rules we barely considered when building. Short-term rentals? Forbidden. Long-term tenants? Possible, but that same HOA was about to issue a special assessment to revamp the ventilation system in the indoor pool house—a neighborhood “amenity” I’d used exactly zero times while living there. Combine that with the premium finishes renters might not appreciate (or take care of), and this property made for a not-so-great investment. 

So, we sold it. And with the proceeds, we did two things: invested a chunk in actual investments and used the remainder to remodel a home less than half the size of the new construction one. This little house? It’s a game-changer. Because we don’t owe any debt on the remodel, our mortgage, taxes, and insurance now take up only about 6% of our net household income (that’s right, NET, not gross). I no longer feel bad when I leave it by itself to go do something fun elsewhere. Plus, the zoning on this property gives us flexibility—it’s short-term rental-friendly and would also work great as a long-term rental. Both options make it a solid investment property if we ever decide to do something other than live in it.

A smaller, smarter housing choice (including renting) can give you options. By lowering our monthly costs, we turned what was once a financial anchor into flexibility. The best financial decisions give you options and options equal freedom.

So, is your house working for you—or are you working for it? Is it an investment—or a lifestyle choice?

And, will I get more angry notes from homeowners or Taylor Swift fans?